Friday, April 13, 2012

THE Question

There is a question I hear pretty much daily lately. I try really hard not to let it bug me. I know it shouldn't bug me. But, it just reminds me of Owen's daily struggle.

THE Question: "Awww, twins?"

I see someone walking towards me as I unload Owen and Isaiah from the car, push them in the stroller down the street, play with them in the park, walk into a resturant, etc. They have that look on their face. That look that says, "awwww twins! How cute, what a handful." I cringe as I know what will be coming out of their mouth when they get close enough.

Many things go through my mind when I know this question is approaching. What will I say?

1. I could say, "Yes." nodd my head and move on with my day. This is something I do on a particularly stressful day, a day I don't want to deal with the rest of this scenario.

2. Try to avoid the question by looking away, quickly changing direction, acting like I'm in a hurry, etc. These things are never sure to work but sometimes I get away with it.

3. I could say, "No." However, I have been down this road. This road is questionable. It could be followed by three things:

a. "Really? But they are the same size." When this response occurs I will say something like, "I know." or, "They are a year apart, he was a preemie so he is a little small for his age." I don't always like getting into all the explanations in public. If we are at the park or something I don't mind. But in the middle of the grocery store after a day of errand running with two kids and a feeding pump screaming at me all day - no thank you!

b. "Are you sure? They look exactly like twins." This response makes me want to smack them upside the head. Are you kidding me? Like I don't know how old my kids are!?!? haha

c. "Oh, ok." This is my favorite response! No judgement, just knowledge and understanding. Thanks to all who have used this response . . . it makes my day a little better.

This might seem petty to you. The truth is, it probably is. However, it goes deeper for me. This isn't about people thinking my boys are twins. It doesn't bother me that they are the same size - it cuts down on storage since they are in the same size clothing LOL.

THE question gets to me because it reminds me of all the reasons Owen is the same size as his little brother. This question reminds me of all the struggles Owen has ahead of him, the daily battle he fights. It reminds me that soon people will be guessing that Isaiah is the bigger brother (which is already starting).

Owen has been through and overcome so much in his short life. It breaks my heart that this is his battle, I can't fight it for him. It breaks my heart that he has such a long road ahead.

I am so thankful our little miracle is with us. He makes great strides every day. He continues to struggle with handling his g-tube feeds and gaining weight, but he thrives in so many areas. He is catching up so quickly. Each day home from the hospital he grows and his body is strengthened by all of his activity. We have every hope that he will someday be off TPN and only on bolls feeds through his GT. I pray the days of no TPN and bollis GT feeds comes soon and with minimal "roller coaster*" activity with Owen's health.

*roller coaster activity: many hospiitalizations, line infections, etc.

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