Sleep Deprivation

Who is blessed by sleep deprivation?

Me!

Am I sleep deprived in the hospital?

sometimes, but not quite as much as I am now

Why am I sleep deprived?

Owen is on antibiotics that need to be given every six hours. 12am, 6am, 12pm, and 6pm. Not only do I have to be up at all of those times, but an hour after each of those times to unhook him from the antibiotic. On top of that, during the 12am dose and the 6am dose I have to stop his lipids (because they are not compatible with the antibiotic), flush the line to make sure the lipids are clear from the line, hook up the antibiotic and start it. Then when the antibiotic is done, I have to flush again and hook the lipids back up. This might not sound like much but keep in mind, I am a tired mommy going into a room with 2 sleeping babies. I have to make sure my hands are clean and that I keep the line clean while trying to keep Owen from waking up. I also have to make sure the lines don't get tangled because he could roll over or something and create an even bigger mess. On top of all the medical confusion, I also have a 1 year old that has missed me and wakes up every couple hours just to make sure I will come in the room to help him back to sleep.

This all creates a sleep deprived mommy

So why am I blessed?

I am blessed because we are home, all of us. It might sound little to many people. Those people have never been in a hospital room with their little one. Being home, even with all these extra tasks for me to do, is the best thing in the entire world. I am able to watch Owen walk around, play, laugh, and bring joy to our whole family. I get to be here with Isaiah as he grows and learns each day (way too fast I might add). I soak in every moment with them. even the crazy, busy, want-to-pull-your-hair-out-moments, because you never know what could happen tomorrow. We have learned that, at any moment, our world could be turned upside down. Owen's life constantly reminds me of how blessed we are with just one more day, one more minute.

I am not saying we don't struggle. Do we get frustrated? Yes! Do we sometimes think we are never going to move forward in our lives? Yes! But, again, Owen always reminds us to take a step back and be thankful for all we are blessed with.

Our Blessings

A Little Love

Another hospital visit = special time on the phone with Daddy and Grandma :)

He loves talking on the phone when he's at the hospital!

He didn't want the conversation to end

Looking out the window

Just another day in the hospital

Hopefully he will be discharged tomorrow!

visit: jan 11th - jan 18th

Seminar for Nurses

Owen was in the hospital from Dec 19th to Dec 22nd last week. Then again in the hospital from Dec 27th and hopefully being discharged today the 30th.

Owen has been in the hospital almost every single month this year. Since we are here so often, I have learned many things about nurses.

First I want to say, I love nurses! They work so hard and their schedules are very demanding. They often have an overwhelming amount of tasks to do on any given day. I try to be very forgiving when they are not on their "A game" because I understand they have a lot to do. They are amazing :)

That being said, there are certain things that nurses do that drive me crazy, especially night nurses.

I would love to teach a seminar about what its like to be in the hospital and ask them to be respecful of certain things. I think they simply don't think about what they do before they do it. We have had several nurses that come in at midnight and talk like they are at a concert on a friday night. They say something like, "Hi, my name is . . . and I will be Owen's nurse tonight." Which is a perfectly acceptable thing to say. However, at midnight you have just got your child to sleep because your roommate is a pretty loud teenager and you have just fallen asleep minutes before she says this. I do not like being woken up by a nurse when nothing is wrong. Why wouldn't they just let the parent rest if there wasn't anything wrong? I may not understand all the ins and outs of nursing but I know that when a mommy is sleeping and a baby is sleeping, you don't wake either.

I understand that they need to do their job. However, I think they sometimes forget that their place of work is our place of healing and rest. A hospital room needs to be a place where the patient can get the rest they need for healing. There are always circumstances that prevent that and some cannot be helped. A roommate could be seriously sick and need medical attention, you yourself could need a medical team in the middle of the night. However, if patients are sleeping soundly and are medically stable, why must you wake them up to tell them your name?

In a children's hospital rest is even harder to come by. Children do not understand why you need to take their temperature at night. I know if Owen wakes up while they take his temperature, he screams bloody murder like they are poking him with a needle. So, a parent can only sleep when their baby sleeps. Sometimes their baby is sleeping through all the kaos in the room and they cannot sleep. All the more reason not to wake a parent if they are sleeping and their baby is sound asleep.
This is what happened while we were in the hospital. I was having such a hard time sleeping because our roommate was a 5 year old that didn't sleep at night. They had the light on all night and she screamed loudly every 2minutes. Owen was sleeping soundly. I had just fallen asleep amidst all the noise and crazyness. A nurse comes in, taps me on the shoulder, and introduces herself. I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. Therefore, the next day with Owen and all the things they needed to do, I was such a tired mommy.

Another big thing to me is closing the door. If there are two patients in a room and they both have parents in the room with them, there is no need to keep the door open at night. It is especially frustrating when you lay down on your chair bed for the night, finally get comfortable, and a nurse comes in and doesn't close the door on her way out. On top of that, she proceeds to stand right outside the door and talk about what she did the night before (however inappropriate it may be). This does not make for a happy mommy. Our rommates mom and I were both talking about how the nurses need to learn how to shut the door when they leave.

This is just a friendly reminder to all you nurses out there :) We love you all very much and think you do great things daily!
Just some advice to keep patients rested and happy

Have any of you parents had similar experience? I would love to hear about them

Time to Think

. . . Sitting here thinking . . .

I know, a dangerous past time for me lol

     I was just rummaging through blogs, facebook pages, and websites. Blogs, pages, and websites of people who have struggled with a sick child, a death of a child, or a child they never got to meet. Looking at charities, organizations, support groups. As I look at all these different things, I can't help but feel like I should be doing more to help. I should be involved in more organizations, charity events, something to help people who desperately need it. I feel like I'm not doing my part. I want to help people, comfort people, love people.

    I don't really know what I am trying to say. I just want to be helpful. I want to make a difference.

I guess I am just left thinking . . .

Jeremiah 29:10

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

As I sit here next to Owen in his hospital bed, I am reminded of this verse. It just keeps repeating in my head, over and over.

The Lord knows the plan for our lives. He knows what Owen will be doing 10 years from now. He knows how all of this turns out.

As I sit here, frustrated and feeling alone I am reminded of this verse. God is here, God gives us hope and a future. It may not be the plans we have or the future we think we want but it is there.

I sit here worrying about Owen's life, his future. I sit here and worry about my future and how Heath and I will provide for our children. I worry about how we will take care of Owen and what he will be like as he grows.

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

That verse seems impossible for me to live by at this moment. However, that is what I will strive to do. I will remember that The Lord knows the plans He has for us and that we should not worry about tomorrow.

All Too Familiar

On July 7th Owen was re-admitted into Oakland Children's Hospital at 2am. He has has a bad cough for about two weeks. I had taken him to the pediatrician three times in the last two weeks and the ER in Sonora twice. He began to have fevers, diarrhea, and vomiting. He couldn't handle his formula so we put him on pedialite. He was on pedialite for 3 days and lost 1lb. So, our pediatrician called the GI doctors and they said that he needed to come to Oakland to be checked on.
Since in Oakland: They have checked to see if he has some sort of bacterial infection in his stomach. So far there are no signs in the tests that indicate he does have a bacterial infection. They believe he just has a virus that he has to fight off himself. So, as for the cough, there isn't much they can do. The goal for now is to get him back on his normal feeding rate. When he can tolerate his normal feeding rate while maintaining his weight, we can go home. They think it will take at least a week, maybe two.
It is definitely difficult to be here again, especially since we are not in the same area of the hospital as before. However, we did get a visit from his night primary nurse last night. It was so great to see her. She was so happy to see him (not in the hospital of course). Today we are expecting another one of his primary nurses to come and visit him. I have missed them all so much. I only wish they could follow him while we are here.

a picture of Owen sleeping in his crib in the hospital. That big thing on his arm is a diaper wrapped around his IV. He kept trying to hit it against things so they had to wrap it all up. We call it his boxing glove. When they first put it on he was so confused. Now he tries to eat it all the time :)